Triggers in the Inbox

Sometimes I’m able to clearly see many reasons why eating disorders are so widespread and impact the lives of so many young people, men, women and families that struggle to cope with the pressures they create.  Every day when I open my email inbox, I’m met with countless unwanted spam messages about weight loss, new fad diets and exercise plans, so-called miracle weight loss pills or potions, and advertisements for the most beautiful, sexy clothing and swimsuits for thin bodies.  Today I was promised “six pack” abs, weight loss recommendations based on my height and weight, a quiz to test how “calorie conscious” I am, and free coupons for sales on health food supplements guaranteed to make me lose weight.

Pro-ana and Pro-ED websites are definitely not to blame for the rise in numbers of people seeking treatment for, or trying to live with an eating disorder.  Although the fashion industry is part of the ED epidemic, I believe the true culprits are in the food industry and the weight loss business.  These two industries conspire together to make people obese with unhealthy foods and chemical additives that break down their body’s defenses, and then offer to sell miracle solutions for these weight problems.  The weight issues and negative stereotypes are propagated by the media and the entertainment business, which is truly just a reflection of what the majority of people want, idolize, or fear the most.

Without a fashion industry walking skeletal beauties down the runways, there would be a lot less thinspiration.  Without actresses, musicians, athletes and all other types of performers and public figures struggling with their weight; training their bodies and minds constantly, there would be so much less encouragement and inspiration for the average girl or woman to be a size zero babe.  Above all else, we would not struggle with weight and an unhealthy body image if the food industry and media did not set us up from birth to go through it.

Eating disorders and the pro-ana movement are some peoples’ answer to the mounting pressures of today’s society that tell us you must be thin, attractive, talented and/or tremendously smart in order to succeed.  I am not the only woman living with an eating disorder and receiving countless spam email messages–triggers in the inbox–every single day.  These endless messages go much further to program my subconscious mind than any pro-ana slogans, such as “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” 

The abolition of eating disorders will not come by banning pro-ana websites and discussion forums on the internet, or censoring thinspiration collections and photo albums on xanga and photobucket.  It can only come through the majority of people rising up against the old ways of advertising, and fighting back against the health risks in our food supply.  We need to change the majority view to accept and embrace the beauty of all life, so we can be free of judging one another and being judged, based on superficial characteristics we possess or struggle to achieve.

ABC Diet

It’s called the ABC Diet and Ana Boot Camp Diet.  It’s a difficult fifty day calorie restriction plan that is quite popular among the pro-ana crowd as well as other eating disordered people online.

day1: 500 calories(or less)
day2: 500 calories(or less)
3:300 calories
4:400 calories
5: 100 calories
6: 200 calories
7: 300 calories
8: 400 calories
9: 500 calories
10: fast
11: 150 calories
12: 200 calories
13: 400 calories
14: 350 calories
15: 250 calories
16: 200 calories
17: fast
18: 200 calories
19: 100 calories
20: fast
21: 300 calories
22: 250 calories
23: 200 calories
24: 150 calories
25: 100 calories
26: 50 calories
27: 100 calories
28: 200 calories
29: 200 calories
30: 300 calories
31: 800
32: fast
33: 250 calories
34: 350 calories
35: 450 calories
36: fast
37: 500 calories
38: 450 calories
39: 400 calories
40: 350 calories
41: 300 calories
42: 250 calories
43: 200 calories
44: 200 calories
45: 250 calories
46: 200 calories
47: 300 calories
48: 200 calories
49: 150 calories
50: fast

I have never tried the ABC Diet myself.  I find when I try to follow a strict diet plan with calorie totals like this, I get triggered and my anorexia symptoms flare up severely.  I soon find myself struggling to take in even 150 calories per day.  The ABC Diet is not right for me, but I read countless posts about it every day on the internet, as well as a few posts from people who want to know what the guidelines for the diet are.  Here it is, if you want to try it yourself, or follow along with someone else’s progress–if you know anyone doing this diet plan.

If you have tried the ABC Diet yourself, please share your experiences in the comments for this post.  Tell us how difficult or easy was it for you, and what aspects of the diet did you find most challenging for yourself?  How much weight did you lose?  Were you able to keep the weight off when you returned to your usual eating patterns?

Pro-Ana in the Media

Most reports and discussions about pro-ana sites in the media are negative and focus solely on the dangers associated with Anorexia Nervosa, while demonizing the websites and website users.  Just yesterday, an article in the Elk Grove Citizen explored the pro-ana movement.  An excerpt from that article:

“Those Web sites are very destructive in the lives of people with eating disorders,” she said. “They promote and present them like they’re a way of normal living.”

She recalled learning about the pro-ana sites in 2002, but she never discussed them with her doctors.  

After 10 years of therapy and treatment from a team of doctors at Kaiser Permanente South Sacramento, she said the disorder is in remission.

She continues to see her therapist, Dr. Robert Ruxin, chief of outpatient psychiatry at Kaiser Permanente South Sacramento.

Ruxin said he has not heard of the pro-ana sites from patients, and was shocked when he learned about them. 

“The whole idea that there could be support groups for people to stay this way, or become this way, or purge better- it’s very frightening,” he said. “It’s normalizing an illness”

Ruxin said these Web sites are harmful because they encourage people to stay anorexic by offering support and advice. This distorted way of viewing an illness can make the recovery process difficult.

The article also covered the issues of wannarexics, thinspiration, the recent Kate Moss pro-ana controversy, and more.  It is definitely a well written and informative article, although I cannot agree entirely with the opinions expressed in it.

I have seen some pro-ana and especially pro-mia sites that provide tips for better and easier purging, but most pro-ana communities actively try to discourage purging, from what I have seen.  I also do not agree that these sites “encourage young women with anorexia nervosa to keep starving and forgo treatment for the disorder,” as the caption on the graphic at the top of the article states.  I am always met with plenty of friendly encouragement to recover from my anorexia, and when I talk about trying to maintain or even gain weight, my pro-ana friends are there to cheer me on with every tiny progress I make.

In most cases, pro-ana is all about support, and when a pro-ana or pro-mia individual decides to seek recovery, they are always encouraged by the different communities I participate in.  One pro-ana site that I am a member of even states that recovery is the natural conclusion of pro-ana–and I can definitely see that as the general trend among the majority of members.

The misunderstandings about pro-ana communities, and all the negative attention the movement receives in the media have given rise to an anti-pro-ana movement and a post-pro-ana movement.  An example of the latter can be seen at the website We Bite Back, where a post-pro-ana discussion forum is incredibly active and full of recovery topics.  It is a great site, but I think treating the recovery of a pro-ana different than any other ED sufferer who seeks treatment is unnecessary and a little offensive.  The recovery website and community, Something Fishy, is much more useful and beneficial, in my opinion, because it offers a discussion forum and support for family members and loved ones of ED sufferers, as well as providing recovery support directly to the patients seeking treatment. 

I just don’t see any reason to create a special site just for people who used to frequent pro-ana sites, because we don’t have any special treatment needs that other eating disordered patients don’t.  This is just a way that some website owners have taken advantage of the pro-ana movement to gain attention for themselves, or perhaps the wannarexics want another way to feel special for having been part of the pro-ana scene.

Can Pro-Ana Make You Thin?

The question may sound silly because everyone knows that viewing specific websites and looking at thinspiration isn’t going to make you anorexic or magically result in weight loss, but recent studies show that if you associate with highly motivated and self-controlled people, you are more likely to develop and exhibit more self-control.  I read an article on MedicineNet.com which states,

“Spending time with people with less-than-ideal self-control will influence you negatively, the researchers found.”

The truth is that pro-ana internet communities can cause you to lose weight, but depending on the type of people who gather at the site you choose, you could lose weight in a healthier way and learn to be more loving toward yourself, or you could experience a worsening of your eating disorder symptoms.

I’m a member of several pro-ana sites on the web, and I found a simple way to determine what type of mood the community has.  Generally if the website’s colour scheme uses very dark colours, it’s a negative site that could make your self-hate, depression and ED symptoms a lot worse, while sites with light colours are often much more positive, encouraging, and beneficial.  I’m sure there are exceptions to this rule–in life there always are–but from my own experiences, this is the easiest way to judge the mood of the site you’re considering participating in.

What is “pro-ana”?

Wikipedia defines pro-ana this way,

Pro-ana refers to the promotion of anorexia nervosa as a lifestyle choice rather than an eating disorder. It is often referred to simply as “ana” and is sometimes affectionately personified by anorexics as a girl named Ana.  The lesser-used term pro-mia refers likewise to bulimia nervosa and is sometimes used interchangeably with pro-ana.
Pro-ana organizations differ widely in their stances. Most claim that they exist mainly as a non-judgmental environment for anorexics a place to turn to discuss their illness, and support those who choose to enter recovery. Others deny anorexia nervosa is a mental illness and claim instead that it is a “lifestyle choice” that should be respected by doctors and family.

I never even heard of the pro-ana movement until late in the year 2006.  I have been living with anorexia nervosa since the 80’s, long before the concepts of pro-ana, thinspiration, and wannarexics were ever around.  I grew up in a time when no matter what, eating disorders were seen as a bad thing that a person must recover from as soon as possible.  It never even occurred to me that I could have a choice about my eating disorder!  Before I heard about the pro-ana movement and got involved in various pro-ana websites, I always thought it was my responsibility to get better and make everyone around me feel better about my eating and body weight.

The pro-ana movement allowed me to stop fighting myself day in and day out.  It allowed me to accept myself, eating disorder and all, and slowly I learned to love myself more and take better care of myself.  Finally I was able to be at peace with my anorexia and enjoy a low body weight while still thinking about and being mindful of nutrition, healthy diet choices, and regular exercise to keep myself feeling as good as possible. 

I don’t want to recover from my eating disorder.  That’s a personal choice that I made for myself and I don’t make any suggestions or recommendations about what other people should do.  This is just what’s right for me, not what’s right for everybody.  I am very happy that I made this choice though, and the past three years of my life have been the best I’ve had so far, mostly because of the inner peace I get from being part of the pro-ana movement online.